You probably dont care but...

I haven't dropped off the face of the planet. Amazingly.
I am 46kg at the moment according to my sisters scale. Which is no where near low enough, especially since she is trying to lose weight herself. No one will bloody listen to me when I tell them that, they are all like "it's just a phase" bull fucking shit you stupid fucking idiots. If she develops an eating disorder im going to laugh in their stupid fucking faces.

Okay, rant over. I need to go. Will update in a few days when I have lost some weight.

New incense!

So I got new incense and a new incense holder which I love.

Sorry about the shitty picture quality. My camera decided to shit itself so I had to use my phone.

The incense I got was Cannabis, Black Magic and Yoga Meditation. Yes there is Cannabis scented incense. It's actually really good. My mother told me I shouldn't have gotten it because now she can't tell if my sister is smoking pot in her room or not (inside joke, my sisters pretty wierd). I laughed properly for the first time in ages.

I now have five boxes of incense. My two others are Kiwifruit and Bewitched. All smell amazing. Im burning the yoga meditation one now and ... wow. I recommend it xD I will try get a picture of the boxes at some point. I might buy a new camera.

So yes, no posting about food today. Just incense.

Okay

So I checked my scale and it said 48kg. Then I checked it again and it said 46.6kg. Checked again and it said 46.6kg. So im assuming im actually 46.6kg. Regardless it is too much.

Im only eating soup for dinner from now on. Everything else hurts my stomach.

I also lost a follower. If you are still somehow reading this it would be nice to know why.

Im going to keep cleaning my room. I made myself an incense table in the middle with cushions surrounding it to sit on. So it's lower chest level when you sit down. I quite like it.

Long time no post

Okay so I will start with my intake for today (so far anyway):

1 tin of pear slices (yes the full tin) - 192 cals

1 coffee thing - 60 cals

Total: 252

The tin of pear slices is going to last me a long time. Im sort of just snacking on it so I don't binge. The coffee was the get my artificial food sort of hit and to help suppress my appetite. I hate having an appetite. I want it to go away now. I will definately update again later tonight and can you please vote for me? It takes less than a minute. All you pretty much have to do is click a link. :)

I will comment on your blogs later as well.

x

Can you do something for me?

Can you click the second banner from the top on the blog page and vote for me? It takes a minute max. Im just sick of all the profiles with annoying descriptions getting to the top so im leaving mine blank and trying to get up there xD

I am also on the verge of buying a new scale. Yes, im that pathetic. Ergh. I just need to know my weight. Measurements were great for a while but now I can't stand it.

Oops, I forgot to update on the 18th

Well I ordered a bowl of vegetables. Could only eat about a quarter of it. I then had a glass or two of coke and proceeded to drink a bit of alcohol and get trashed.

I made out with me ex girlfriend (k), then ex girlfriends ex (t) and then we pretty much had a three some. And somehow it is not awkward. Im such a whore.

Erm... what else have I forgotten to tell you guys? I drank one cruiser last night and have no idea how many calories are in one of those so im glad I didn't eat that day. It hit me pretty shocking for a bloody vodka cruiser otherwise known as cordial with a hint of alcohol. Guess who I was with when I drank it? If you guessed (k) you would be right. If you also continued to guess that we hooked up you would be wrong. We very nearly did but we were in a public park and I got paranoid. I hate paranoia. It ruins absolutely everything. And yes I know a public park is manky but it was like 12pm and we were at the darkest spot there was. Yes that is my reasoning and im sticking to it. >.<

I also proceeded to somewhat trash my almost clean room last night. Bleck. I have to do that again aswell.

So I lost weight it seems

Well when my scale broke I made a plan to measure myself every 5 days.

8th of march measurements:

Top of arm: 25cm

Bottom of arm: 21 1/2 cm

Neck: 29 1/2 cm

Bust: 73 cm

Waist: 63 cm

Stomach: 73 cm

Hips: 77 cm

Top of thigh: 48cm

Calve: 32 cm

13th of march measurements:

Top of arm: 25cm

Bottom of arm: 20 1/2 cm

Neck: 29 1/2 cm

Bust: 74 cm

Waist: 60 cm

Stomach: 72 cm

Hips: 76 cm

Top of thigh: 47 1/2cm

Calve: 32 cm

So if I calculated correctly thats -5 1/2 cm

So im going down. I think im going to stick to tape measure instead of getting new batteries for my scale. Measurements are much more reliable.

On a more boring note I have to do my maths assignment today and my five page maths investigation. Wooh. >.> Im pretty sure I don't know what im doing.

Im getting a drink because im dehydrated and I may blog later if I end up being a little shit and eating something before dinner. Okay, that sounds pathetic. Anyway im going to go and attempt to do these things that need to be done. Maybe I will plan out my exercise and dinner and such as well... hmm..

My scale broke.

I don't know if I mentioned this already but my scale broke so im using tape measure. Im not happy. I want to know how much I weigh.

Tonight there is a friends... 18th? I think. Could be 17th. Ahh. Oh well. Im going and it's at a pizza place. Ick. We pay for how much we eat and I actually considered not eating anything at all. But my ex will be there and she knows ALL my about food issues. Well I told her it was food issues, I never tell her the full extent. I might get a salad or something small and easy if I can get away with it.

Im worried about the mark I am going to get for my English assignment. It was 1500 words in total (We didn't have a word limit) and it was about my Australian values but I wrote it from the perspective of a male veteran trying to live in todays society.

I am going to try eat today but not normally. Just three meals and see where it gets me. I have a feeling my metabolism is dead at the moment.

Breakfast: (55)

- 1/4 cup cereal = 39 cal

- half a quarter serving of 1% milk = 16 cal

Lunch: ()

- to be had

Dinner: ()

- wont be updated till late tonight or sometime tomorrow.

I need to find something to wear that wont look horrible. I have been told to wear dress pants and a dress shirt to match my ex (Don't ask me why I Agreed that that would be cool) but I have no dress shirt and am going op shopping later in the day so who knows what will happen. I am going to pick out a dress though and see which one I prefer. I own way too many dresses and havent worn many of them at all.

My organs are starting to cause me grief and I can't tell what it is from. The dehydration? (I usually drink 2L water or cordial or some form of liquid partially hyrating substance a day) the eating? or lack of. Ehh. If I die then we have a problem. Till then it's onwards.

I will most likely update again a bit later. My head is feeling wierd and I can't concentrate on anything so im going to force myself to clean my room. Yep, that's how my thought process works.

Thanks for the comment as well.

I hate hair

Okay, so I cut my hair about three days ago. A safe distance out of my eyes so I wouldn't have to cut it for another few weeks atleast. Guess what is stabbing me in the eyes again. My hair is inhumane. Im also pretty sure im getting that white fine downy hair on the back of my neck. >.< My chains keep getting caught there.

I have to keep cleaning my room. There's walking trails through it now. Getting there. Cleaning is hard for me.

Thank you everyone for all the encouragement with quiting :) I might hunt down some sort of timer and keep it on my profile.

And thank you all so, so much for the comments, I was in a horrible, god aweful mood untill I read them. I will reply to comments on your own blogs so i can read your blogs at the same time. :)

Hope you are all well. If I get a random stroke of inspiration I might blog again.

Intake:

2 tim tams - 250 (guess)

1 choc caramel cloud - 30

Total: 280

I ended up quiting smoking on the 8th.

So I had my last smoke on the 7th and have been completely smoke free since the 8th. Minus my ex-girlfriend blowing smoke in my face to be a bitch.

I almost kissed her today. Yes, the feelings have come running back. But I have more self control this time and give her space. It's hard to give someone space when they've pinned you to the ground though >.>

I am going to give you an update in a week (on the 15th) and tell you wether I have lasted the week smoke free or not. No hints about it till then.

I would also like to see a comment occasionally. I used to blog for you guys so I could read them.

I guess I have been sort of depresso lately.

I am starting a new chapter though, working on getting a job and everything.

Eating wise im still in the same old rut. I have decided the scale can eff itself and im going to go off of measurements now. I am going to re-measure every five days and I will  tell you guys if I have lost cm's.

And with school im starting to get swamped.

For maths I have a three page assignment. Three pages is just the questions we have to do.

For English I have a written assignment on 'What makes you an Australian?' and we have to refer to Baz Luhrman's movie Australia. There is no word limit so im going to end up writing a fair few pages. I always do. Its due in seven days and I haven't started yet. I am doing it tomorrow so I have a draft by Thursday.

I am cleaning my room, shock, horror. I almost cracked my head open this morning. Stepped on what I thought was a harmless pile of magazines and paper, hello avalanche. Faceplanted on the floor. Yup... my room is now a safety hazard. Managed to get three bags of rubbish gone from it today so it wont be long before I can declare it safe again. I will have to get caution tape ;)

If you would like me to read and comment on your blogs just send me a comment and I will write it down on my to do list. I forget otherwise. Sorry guys.

Hope you are all well.

Oops. I forgot to post

So I hit the 45kg range the day after my last post. But only just. 45.9kg. lol. Then I had a horrible day where I was just possesed and stuffed my face and im now sitting at 102lbs. Well I was this morning. The kg part of my scale no longer works. Damn it. So I have to resort to lbs.

Im so drained by everything at the moment. I couldn't sleep last night which is one of the great side effects. Im also getting organ pains but not in any serious places so they can be ignored. I am also sick and getting sicker with speed. Took me two days of sickness to lose my voice. Don't you just hate immune systems.

I can't remember the rest of what I was going to post. Sorry guys. I will update when it hits me again.

Hope you are all faring better than I am.

On a positive note I am quiting smoking on the tenth of this month or whenever I finish this pack. Probably earlier than that.

46.3

Been chilling at this weight for a few days.

I have to say I am now completely over my ex. I finally saw how terrible she actually is and how shit her personality is all the time. We still talk and stuff but wow. How did I ever... ergh.

Time to find a new girl I think :)

I need to  find someone away from college though. Im pretty sure it brings bad luck. :P

I am hoping with all the hope I have that I hit the 45kg range tomorrow. Im sick of the 46kg range.

My brains too fuzzy too work at the moment. sorry.

It sounds like a lot but I have only been eating dinner every day. Sounds like a lot. It is a lot. Dinner just so happens to be the biggest meal of the day.

Im only eating half of it tomorrow night.

Can't be going and getting fat now.

46.7

We ran out of cordial which is what I was living on. Bleck.

Im going shopping today and getting more. Maybe.

I have also been suicidal the past two nights.

I was doing so well and then BAM. Everything hits me again.

I didn't even get up out of bed to get anything for any sort of self harm so I am proud of myself.

I am also not going to be getting stoned tonight. Maybe. If they have already bought a stick then I will pay them back for it definately. I just don't want all my bad moods to come crashing down with a group of my friends. It would be terrible.

I am trying to drink 2L of water a day. Yesterday I made it too 1800mls or 1.8L for people who don't know mililitres and litres.

I haven't had tea for a while so im going to do that.

I am going to be really upset if I go back to college over 47kg after this weekend.

sooo... alot of shit has happened.

Okay to start off with, my ex girlfriend. I ended up kissing her... twice. >.< *facepalm* I have also made it incredibly obvious that I want to get back with her. Sigh... It's going to be a long few months. She told me she needs to sort stuff out before anything can happen. Im too impatient.

Next, I got down to 46.3kg. Which really isn't low at all. Then I got stoned, had the munchies, hello 49 kilograms.

Found these sites with clicky eggs and stuff that are in my sidebar or will be soon ;) You know what to do.

I am also only eating soup today. I feel terrible.

Plus mum's boyfriend is here and I really just want to sit out the back and have a smoke. But I can't. Woohoo.

Okay I will post a better post when I have lost some weight. But im getting stoned again this friday so who knows. Im not the smartest human being alive.

Im back with plans and a whopping long post.

Okay so I finally figured out my login details and made it back. Im home and bored. I have lost two kilograms in the past 6 days but im bored and am starting all my exercise plans today which include couch to 5k again. My running ability has diminished terribly and I need to be able to run 10k by october.

I am also going to start the skinny girl diet because it is rediculously easy and gets my ass into gear for exercise hahah.

Plan for today:

Breakfast - yoghurt - 69 cal

Snack - punnet blueberries - 0 (86)

Lunch - large white flesh nectarine - 0 (69)

Snack - large white flesh nectarine - 0 (69)

Dinner - 100 cal worth meat, 100 cal worth vegetables - 100 (200) 

Total: 493SGD: 169

Exercise:

Calinsthetics - 58 calories

Day 1 couch to 5k - ? calories

1 hour cleaning -

Total:  ( )

Will update  calories day 1 couch to 5k soon :)

Im also adding a rule of only drinking coffee, tea or water with only ONE other type of drink a day but it must be added to calorie total.

Waist: 63cm

Hip: 80cm

Thigh: 47.5cm

Waist goal: 59cm, so my waist is losing 4cm

Hip goal: 78cm (I want big hips and a small waist) So my hips are losing 2cm.

Thigh goal: 46cm so they need to lose 1.5cm

I will re-measure at 7, 14, 21 and 30 days. I am also taking pictures but that is going on a whole different thing and are not going to be seen by public eyes. If im happy with the end ones I will show those xD

And I just looked in the exercise room and mum put the sit up machine on top of the treadmill so im going to clean my room a bit and temporarily move the sit up machine in here so I can use the treadmill. I want this exercse over and done with too see how much I really burn.

Okay I shall post again later, this is already a huge post.

Stay well and strong everyone :)

On again

God im good. Managed to get on again.

Am 47kg now. Will definately be 46kg when I get home.

Thank you for your comments. Immediate mood boost there.

Hope you are all doing well with your goals.

:)

sneaking

Im sneaking on the computer.

I was 47kg yesterday, 47 bloody kilograms. It was the lowest I have been in a while sadly and now im 47.6kg. I haven't eaten yet and it's 11:28am. We will see what I am tomorrow. I plan to go back home (on the 25th) at 46kg atleast.