I was going to wait

As I said in the title I was going to wait. I was going to wait and let other people comment on the post. I want to see your opinions so please comment. But I saw a PT blog title that said date anxiety. Of course it was aobut having anxiety about going on a date blah blah but I processed it as Date, Anxiety. As in actually go on a date with anxiety. I can immagine what it would be like.

Walking in to the restaurant only to see a person shakily downing their fourth alcoholic drink. You arrived perfectly on time so you are suprised to see them here already.

You don't know that they came half an hour early in case they had gotten the wrong time. In case they were late.

They are dressed in a formal shirt and dress pants with polished shoes. You came in a semi-formal dress clutching your purse in your hands like a cliche. You are un-aware that they spent hours trying on clothes after clothes to find ones they thought would make themselves look good for a change. When they ask you how they look you reply that they look great. You see them start compulsively folding and unfolding the napkin infront of them but do not think about it any further. You do not know that you may aswell have said they look like shit because that's what your comment sounded like. To them it was too generic to be meaningful, "Surely it's just a cover up, they are just trying to be nice, they are pitying you!".

The conversation consists mainly of their hysterical laughter when confronted with the usual questions, "Do you have a job? How do you like your job? How long is your longest relationship? Hobbies?"

You catch them staring while you pick at your salad, they ordered a steak with sides. They wonder if you think they eat too much. They wonder if they put you off your appetite. They are too scared to ask you. Beads of sweat form on their forehead while you are sitting there trying not to shiver.

Time goes past and the date has gone silent. Their leg shakes violently under the table. The napkin folding and unfolding continued twenty minutes ago. You call over the waiter for a check. (Aka paying for your food)

You like the person even with all the odd things they do so you invite them over to your place. They laugh hysterically and cannot form a sentence. As soon as the waiter comes back with your reciept your date smiles awkwardly and you say your goodbyes. Your date curses to themself on the drive home, they send you an apologetic text and you never hear from them again.

The ending is shit but I was never good with endings. I had to let my creative juices flow. I can't bottle up anymore emotion its unhealthy. Plus I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow. Heaven help me. I asked my girlfriend to come with me so she can explain the mood swings. I don't know if she is going to turn up or not.